"You give my emptiness a name"

Favorite bit of words at the moment.

It kills me not to know this, but I've all but just forgotten

What the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them

In honor of a holiday that means nothing

You can be empty and I could be right here empty with you

Or you could be hollow and I could be right here hollow with you

If you want to say goodbye to everything I could say goodbye too

I could be right here empty with you

If it means a lot to you

I can't even express how much I love what I do. Sure, the planning and grading are tedious, but interacting with the students more than makes up for it. The past month has been the best of my internship so far. Now I just have to pretend to care about my action research. Booo.

Amazing, Because It Is

I go through cycles within my own music listening habits, often moving back and forth between a wide range of sounds. I've currently been on a kick where I need everything to be harder, louder and faster. Some of it has to do with entering a period of my life where I'm really searching for something elusive as I try to figure out what comes next? Partly I just need the energy boost in order to keep "bringing it," so to speak, as far as my classroom teaching goes. Either way, I've found myself pushing in new directions as far as my tastes go in a variety of different areas. Growth is supposed to hurt a little, right? This song, by The Almost, really captures of the essence of what I'm feeling right now as my fingers tap-tap away at the keys.

Amazing, Because It Is.

I was so scared of everything you put in front of me
I've been arching every part of me
Just to see
Why you need me to be
The boy you need me to be

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
And now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

I just wanna see

I'm the type of person who lets fear drive
I'm the type of guy that lets it drive
Cause I'm addicted, I'm needy
I mean it
I'm lost without you
I need you
I name you.

And thus starts the best year of my life*

*Finishing up grad school and getting that teacher's license will do that. There's still a little room for a couple of bonuses in there, but more on that later. Wouldn't want to get ahead of myself. I'm incredibly disappointed in the Broncos (and Vols for that matter) utter collapse, but 2010 looks pretty bright for both teams. I just have to survive until June!

Also, hopefully this year Ted will finally meet his kid's mother!!!! I've been waiting five seasons...let's get to it!!

Oh and welcome back, Rachael. ;)

Get Me Right

From now on, I will say a lot more.

"I've grown to love the pain"

One month's worth of hard work down the drain. Awesome.

You're talking a lot, but you're not saying anything

I thought I was going to type up this great little recap of where life has gone over the past month. Actually, I did type it up. Highlight. Delete. None of it really matters I suppose. What does matter is that I am incredibly grateful and thankful for everyone who has supported me this semester and even anyone who will take a few seconds to read this. I know I can be a bit of a pain, but I love you all very much. Hey, the Denver Broncos are 7-4 and still have a shot at the playoffs. November left me in pretty good shape. Brc.

Can I lay with you in your grave?

Haikus for November.

November brings death
Skeletal frames falling down
Earth finds slow ruin

November heralds
A process of slow rebirth
What dies soon returns

We didn't really see Arcade Fire.

from "dao of st. paul" - 3eb

"I spent the last three years setting myself on fire for you

I spent the last three years never knowing if what you say is true

It'll be this way 'til one of us dies. It's a blessing in disguise."

Not much of a title

Today was one of those days where everything just clicked and I really felt like I'm where I should be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Although nothing major happened, I left school today feeling incredibly fulfilled in my role as a teacher and ability to help my students "get it." It definitely helps that I have more than a handful who really make class a joy. Good times, man. Good times.

"You were so pretty in the days you spoke your mind"

What a perfect Sunday; and a wonderful way to start a new week. Broncos improve to 3-0 with the win over Oakland and the Rockies keep the Cardinals at bay to win the series and move just a little bit closer to the playoffs. Also, I had this great win last night in an online game of MLB The Show 09 against some guy who was pretty pissed when I came from behind in the bottom of the 9th and ended the game with a walk-off ball to the gap :) Every day that passes brings me and Natalie one day closer to Third Eye Blind! Lyrics!

"Water Landing" -3eb

When will I start to learn?

I'm bleeding in this game

'Cause she uses boys like bandages

But the wounds remain the same

And I hope you find it through this endless wandering

I'm missing you for so long

You're a question mark and a scar

And you twist me up like a tourniquet

'Til I don't know who we are

I know chasing after you won't change a thing

And I hope you find it through this endless wandering

Change everything I know

She won't let me come. And she won't let me go

Let me come inside.

Inside.

I was late and my face was wet

Tow up in a private jet

Spiraling down with a cigarette

Where we going now? 'Cause I forget

And I gotta get it all, but it takes a toll

But if it gets so high will it grow a soul?

Dark side giving me such a pull, such a pull

And if it's a water landing, then it's a water landing

Put on your life vest only if told to do so

Well I'm telling you now, strap it across your chest

Prepare yourself for impending death

You and me are nose-diving at the speed of whiplash

Life flashes by in an endless plane crash

A muffled "I love you" through an oxygen mask on my face

Brace. Brace.

In the cabin you're etched with religious conversions

God's sick joke as we lose the engines

Some people scream, some keep low and gracious

And the reason's the same, 'cause the sky outside is so spacious

It's so spacious

So if it's a water landing, then it's a water landing

And it's coming inside.

Inside.

Third Eye Blind 10/6 - 1000 Julys

October is shaping up to be something special this year. The Rockies are almost certainly going to be playing in the postseason, Say Anything's new record comes out and now Third Eye Blind is on the list of things to do. I knew I loved October - I had just forgotten why. Here's to starting off a number of days of my favorite 3eb songs :)

1000 Julys -3eb

Planning my attack just before you come back around

Maybe I'm wrong but I don't know how to back down

I never fit in - I don't belong

But it doesn't matter when we feel strong

'Cause I'm a vampire ya'll and we toast the blood of our enemies

and you're still scared of me, no?

Wonder what its like when you're living with someone like me?

I'm a freak and I'm nervous when it's easy

Feral days I'm sex crazed - I put it in with my animal ways

That's the sign I was born to be livin' in

I ran around and gave the finger to the Ritalin

You can calm me down and I can't say why

You burn my eyes - a thousand julys

I'd give you the words but no words come to mind

You turn me so cold so I tell you lies

When you let me in its like a thousand julys

Say Anything meets Twilight

This song is about eight years old, but I've just fallen in love with it recently. It reminds me in some ways of the "musical portion" of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and obviously very similar (but pre-dating) to the ideas presented in the absurdly popular Twilight series (and True Blood to a lesser extent). I've always been enamored by the slightly twisted take on romance and relationships that Say Anything brings to the table and this is just another beautiful example of that strange negotiation between love, fear and violence.

"Translyvanian"

Bent over the grand piano, I feel my eyes slide over you

Legs that curve the same as hers, could run as quickly too

My lazy tongue lies low and ready, it cannot seem to speak its words

I'd axe it off to shut me up, but you've already heard;

The murders have occurred

So take me where they cannot see us and lay me down on coffin rich dirt

Tonight I am a Translyvanian, a taste of you won't hurt

'Cause I am numb to every feeling, stubborn ears will hear no sound

My last few rounds have left me reeling, my teeth are on the ground

I've taken pound for pound

The path into this heart is littered with corpses and strewn with body parts

Of those who came before, so just give up

The path into this heart is littered with corpses and strewn with body parts

Of stronger souls than you, stronger souls than you

So child don't go getting your hopes up

So I heave my breath at burning wax 'cause I know that spark ain't coming back

Dedicated to this weekend.

Say Anything - "By Tonight"

You're looking quite sharp, sugar
You've got some teeth on that stare
You've got them tattered blue jeans on
You've done that thing with your hair
This bed could use a secret, and these pounding hearts could keep it
If you could, then I could, I swear

'Cause you turned me on and I'd like to know if you were trying
And angel we are so gone
By tonight, the earth bursts open
By tonight, we shed this clothing
By tonight, you'll see me from the angle that you missed

You're looking high-strung, sugar
Why don't you sink a little bit
Into the sea of sweat our skin can spit?
It was good to keep me guessing 'cause you know I hate attention
But can we get down to it? Can we get down to it?

Your heart is a grave, to be perfectly honest

so long forgotten friend

you don't know the difference

between love and submission

and i'm not that obedient

"+44"

So long sweet summer

For me, it is officially over. I didn't accomplish near the amount of things I'd hoped (isn't it always that way?), but mostly I'm feeling up to the challenge of moving on to something new. Its exciting to be so close to really moving on and creating something much better for myself in terms of personal growth, but also to now be in a position to bring something better to other people's lives as well. Just don't be too surprised if I kind of fall of the face of the earth over the next semester or so...just call me, text me, invite me to coffee! :D Goodnight and farewell to another summer.

"This smoking-gun mouth of mine has many victims to its name"

the twisted thoughts that come out of your mind

are heartless at best; they keep you from your own recovery

it takes fun out of living when you have no life

you can't answer, you can't decide

now you have the guilt of me on your lips

n.f.g.

Broadband brings wave of change to East Africa; one Warcraft player thrilled.

This just made my day. I noticed an article on the BBC website talking about broadband internet arriving this month for the first time ever in East Africa. I started reading the comments (from mostly African posters) and found a number of enthusiastic responses on how this was going to change commerce, education and communication for a large number of Africans. I tried to imagine what it would be like not having the access to the web that we are so used to and then I came across this comment somewhere near the bottom:

Maybe I'll finally be able to PvP as a normal human being in world of warcraft. Its really not fun trying to interrupt a 1.5 second heal with 1.49 seconds delay.
Nick, Middelburg, South Africa

Sam Raimi to direct Warcraft movie

"Blizzard Entertainment, Inc. and Legendary Pictures announced today that Sam Raimi has signed on to direct the eagerly-anticipated major motion picture based on Blizzard Entertainment®’s award-winning Warcraft® universe. Raimi has, in the course of his career, clearly demonstrated a genius for developing and adapting existing fictional universes for mainstream audiences while staying true to the spirit of the original content.
Raimi directed the Spider-Man trilogy, which has broken box-office records around the world and garnered five Academy Award® nominations. Known for his imaginative filmmaking style, richly drawn characters and offbeat humor, Raimi wrote and directed the cult classic, The Evil Dead and produced 30 Days Of Night. He most recently wrote and directed the supernatural thriller, Drag Me To Hell.

"At its core, Warcraft is a fantastic, action-packed story," said Raimi. "I am thrilled to work with such a dynamite production team to bring this project to the big screen.""

Groundbreaking news. I thought a Warcraft movie would be rubbish for certain, but now my inner (and not very hidden) nerd is giddy with anticipation. This revelation is especially shocking considering yesterday's confession to a friend that Raimi would be my dream director for my in-progress zombie script. One can hope?